Yeah, I know that was hilarious--so hilarious I'm willing to take a chance that IMDb won't reject my comment for using the word "shitty." I'm actually in the middle of watching this, and I swear to God, I thought of that acronym from getting up from the couch to going to take a whiz, and my bathroom is a mere ten steps away from my couch. Yes, I improvised that in ten steps, don't everyone clap for me all at once. Yup...I think that pretty much sums up Ghost House Productions. And no, I'm not kidding--first "The Possession," and now we have yet ANOTHER Ghost House Production featuring a good husband getting emasculated by a bitch of a wife. WTF Ghost House?!??? I rent your movies because I wanna watch horror, not watch a good husband get told his best isn't good enough by an emasculating wife. A drunk? Oooooooh, he had two--count 'em TWO--empty beer cans at his feet out of that six pack his wife picked up off of the ground!!!!!! Hey, watch out for this guy!!! Ghost House, take heed, if this is the kind of crap you're going to keep churning out, I'm going to stop watching your movies. "The Possession" review soon to come after my posting time limit expires. I should have reviewed it first, then thought better of it, and then I saw this God-awful emasculation piece that Ghost House--again--was responsible for, and I said to myself, "No...I HAVE to speak out against these two crappy movies." So, regarding this movie...God, where do I begin?
SPOILERS!!!**********************************************************
OK, I mean, seriously, when he's out in the cornfield and his neighbor's wife starts stripping for him and makes the sprinklers turn on so she can get all wet, that's where I lost it, OMG!! And while she's doing that, I'm thinking "Wait a minute...the bank guy that tried to take his farm...didn't the husband tell Mr. Bank Guy he came and asked for a loan for water sprinklers and he turned him down? Oh, wait a minute...the cursed scarecrow provided those water sprinklers! Along with a naked chick taking her top off and getting wet dancing in the sprinklers!" And speaking of his neighbor, nice fake Irish accent! And then the neighbors are there in his barn speaking to him. Then emasculating wife turns on the lights and says, "Who are you speaking to?" And he turns around and they're not there. But the knocked-out cop on the ground whom the neighbors knocked out, oh, she saw him still lying there on the ground, he was real! Perfect for turning his emasculating wife further against him! How convenient! And another thing...you all have seen the previews where the scarecrow comes to life? Yeah...this doesn't happen until the very end of the movie. Seriously, the scarecrow doesn't come to life until the end of the movie, meaning I'm not scared one iota throughout this entire movie. Well, except for the thought of ending up with a wife like the one in this movie. And now the scarecrow grabs his daughter and she and the wife are trying to be scream queens!!! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! OMG! My husband was right! I am a dumb bitch! And with those straw hands that cut and have blood on the straw fingertips and that brown hat and that brown, shriveled, burned-up face...isn't it funny how that scarecrow looks just a wee bit like Freddy Krueger? Folks, please spare yourselves 94 minutes and go watch something else. I give this movie two stars out of ten for each wet boob you at least get to see in this farce of a horror flick. And Ghost House...please...put down the hardcover copy of "In Praise Of Difficult Women" and pick up an XBox 360 and a copy of Castlevania: Lords of Shadow...because their scarecrows are far more terrifying than yours.
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